Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
