That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm like, not good at living.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
