I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
