Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
