There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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