Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
