Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
