she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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