You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
