You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
