weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
