White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
