meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
