ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
