I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize