I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize