First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
