Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
