It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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