I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
