My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
