3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
