Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
