Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
