I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize