return my video game
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
