it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
