his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
