Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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