We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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