He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
from now on my penis is your penis
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
