You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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