Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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