Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
