Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize