I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize