I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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