My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
