She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
