I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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