whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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