Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize