where am i from again
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
