Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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