People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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