how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
