I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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