if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
