My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
