Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
