Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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