the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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