So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
