So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
