i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
