you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
