we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize