We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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