final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I have vodka in my lungs
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
