you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
