well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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