just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
