like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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